How is it that life just whizzes by while we hold onto the ride for dear life? I am just so exhausted from holding on so tightly when I should be enjoying the ride.
It brings me back to my childhood. The number of times I was at the wrong place at the right time.
If you aren't quite understanding, here is a explanation: When I was a kid I visited a water park. I was in the big pool where all the kids are on inner tubes or floating things and the tidal wave came on. I didn't have a floating thing and the tidal wave was so strong that I started to panic and swam over to the edge. I grabbed for a part of the ladder and tried to pull myself out but the wave action was so strong that I couldn't get out. I just kept getting beat against the side of the pool with each wave. It was horrible and at the end of the tidal waves I was thoroughly exhausted from pulling myself up each time a big wave came so I didn't go under. Now, if I was at the middle of the pool "riding the waves" I would have been better off. If I had an inner tube I would have actually enjoyed the tidal wave, but instead I was at the wrong place and had to hold on until I was exhausted.
When I was even smaller I used to ride on those merry-go-round type rides on the playground. The kind that had the metal bars that led from the edge of the ride, up and arched to come back down somewhere near the center. Usually a kid ran around holding onto one of the bars and once it got going pretty fast then they were able to hop on. If you were in the middle you could look out and get dizzy, or you could focus on someone and just enjoy the ride. The kids standing in the middle got the same effect, but if you were on the outside of the ride, the centrifical force made your body want to fly off of the ride, so there you were .... holding on tightly.
Now, remember your own childhood. Any of these experiences happen to you? Are you holding onto life too tightly now and not enjoying the ride?
Part of my problem is that I try to squeeze in too many things. I have done much better at this since I started the stores. I focus on them and my family much more than all the "other" things I previously had to do. I have made a choice about priorities in my life and I must say it is about time!
I have a real problem with committment too. I decided this last month that I was committed to making the stores a success and that I was going to "embrace my space" in downtown Mac. I really wanted to get on the main drag through town and was dissappointed with my bad luck in finding the right size, right location, right price. There was nothing there for me, so I am staying put and embracing my space. Yesterday we started an overhaul of the space. Right now, about 50% is painted. I have moved around things to give me more room where I need it. Things are an absolute mess to be honest, but I am excited at the ability to make it more what I want it to be!
And that is what is all about right? I can control my days, I can control where I am and at what time I am there. And maybe I won't have to hold on so tightly anymore and I can finally enjoy the ride.
SEPT. 1, 2006
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