It's Been Forever

Well, it has been forever and a half since I last wrote a blog. In fact, I know it was September 2009 when I penned my last blog entry on myspace. I gave up that ghost of a site and retreated into a sad turmoiled world for a couple of months as I battled my soon-to-be ex-husband.

I thought it was better to leave my thoughts unrecorded during this time as my mind was a dark and angry space. Fast forward to April 28, 2010 and here I am - a survivor who is happy and tries her best to see the light even on dark, gloomy and wet Oregon days like today! (Rain, rain go away!)

I logged into my blogger account just for the purpose of following a friends blog and decided to take a moment and just dribble a couple of thoughts on the computer.

Having no idea what I really want to say I mostly babble randomly, which I tend to do in real life anyhow.

After my divorce I had really good period where I tried to stop taking anti-depressants. This just came to mind because I was reminded to take my little pink Effexor XR 75 and washed it down with a bottled water here at my store. I thought I could go off of it for good, since I was free of some pretty heavy baggage. After a couple of weeks free of my daily ritual I realized I wasn't handling my thoughts very well and gradually got back onto a half dose of my original medication. I was at 150 mg. for about 6 years and have settled at 75 mg for at least the past year. For me to go totally off my meds, I have been advised I would have to start working out, every day, and for about an hour. Excuse me? Have you seen me? My idea of working out is getting up from bed and going to the bathroom. So taking a pill every day is just easier for this typical lazy, obese, out-of-shape American woman.

Now, I am not being harsh on myself or anything with that last statement. It is just good ol' plain facts. I realized this last night as I was hungry after closing up the shop a half an hour late and drove through McDonald's, ordered a cheeseburger Happy Meal with a Coke, and ate it as I drove my hour-long commute home. Nasty stuff that Happy Meal was. But there you have it. I was hungry and my poor planning led me to get a quick fix of a less-than-healthy dinner.

If I was able to change my entire life at this point, in regard to health, I would be much better for it. I do tell myself if and when the fucking sun shines in the state this year (still waiting and it is almost May) I will start getting out and exercising. Not hard core or anything, but a walk with my boys, or my dog, or even ride my bike.

Well that is my goal. I think I might even try to jog a lap around the high school track after a couple of weeks of getting out and walking to see if it is possible for me to do without having a heart-attack. I will definitely update this blog if I am successful. If I am not successful, then this will be my last posting.

HA!

Well, work beckons. My fun little joint on the Oregon Coast (aka Stacy's Scrap Shack) nestled in the Safeway Shopping Plaza in Lincoln City really needs my attention. So have a great day out there in cyberspace if any one is reading.